Top 100 Inspirational Mark Twain Quotes and Sayings

Mark Twain Quotes and Sayings

Mark Twain, real name Samuel Langhorne Clemens, was an American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and its sequel, the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called “The Great American Novel”.( Wikipedia ) Here are top 100 Inspirational Mark Twain Quotes and Sayings.

Top 100 Inspirational Mark Twain Quotes and Sayings

  1. The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

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  2. Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

  3. Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

  4. A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

  5. Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

  6. The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

  7. I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

  8. As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.

  9. When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

  10. The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

  11. There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

  12. Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

  13. The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

  14. It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

  15. When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

  16. It is just like man’s vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.

  17. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.

  18. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

  19. Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

  20. A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

  21. Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.

  22. Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.

  23. Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

  24. Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

  25. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

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  26. The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.

  27. Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

  28. Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

  29. A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read.

  30. Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.

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  31. It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

  32. When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.

  33. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

  34. Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

  35. Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

  36. Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

  37. The lack of money is the root of all evil.

  38. Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

  39. You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

  40. What a wee little part of a person’s life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.

  41. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

  42. What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

  43. It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

  44. All generalizations are false, including this one.

  45. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.

  46. There are lies, damned lies and statistics.

  47. Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.

  48. The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter – ’tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning.

  49. The Christian’s Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.

  50. The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

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  51. To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.

  52. The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

  53. The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.

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  54. There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.

  55. Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.

  56. There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.

  57. Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.

  58. Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

  59. The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

  60. Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

  61. Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.

  62. Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.

  63. If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.

  64. It put our energies to sleep and made visionaries of us – dreamers and indolent… It is good to begin life poor; it is good to begin life rich – these are wholesome; but to begin it prospectively rich! The man who has not experienced it cannot imagine the curse of it.

  65. Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.

  66. I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any.

  67. The educated Southerner has no use for an ‘r’, except at the beginning of a word.

  68. Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

  69. Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.

  70. A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

  71. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

  72. But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

  73. Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.

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  74. Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

  75. It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races.

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  76. When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

  77. When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.

  78. Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.

  79. Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.

  80. Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

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  81. It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.

  82. Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.

  83. The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

  84. My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

  85. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

  86. When in doubt tell the truth.

  87. Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

  88. The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

  89. Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.

  90. Everything has its limit – iron ore cannot be educated into gold.

  91. Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.

  92. Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

  93. We are all alike, on the inside.

  94. It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

  95. I can live for two months on a good compliment.

  96. There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.

  97. It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

  98. When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.

  99. We Americans… bear the ark of liberties of the world.

  100. I never smoke to excess – that is, I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.

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